If you follow my blog posts, most of you know by now that I made the decision to leave teaching.
If you missed the post, here is a quick recap…I no longer can continue with the craziness of my blog AND teaching. My blog is a little different than most teacher bloggers. Not only am I creating products that you can purchase, but I am also staging rooms. In all honesty, that is the hardest part. It is extremely labor intensive! There is so much involved in creating a classroom and having it ready by a deadline for my photographer. In addition, shopping for the photo shoots takes a lot of time as well. Towards the end of the school year, I felt like I was drowning. I was trying to do custom orders, create, stage, shop, blog, teach during the day, AND raise three children. I knew I had to make a choice and decided to resign from my teaching position.
So many people asked me if I was excited. I WAS excited to have a balanced life. I WAS excited to be doing what I love full time. I WAS excited to leave all of the yucky stuff that goes with teaching.
Despite having so many things to be excited about, I was still sad. Sad about the children that I was going to leave. I was sad for the parents that had their hearts set on having me for the child’s teacher next year. Thoughts of my very first classroom continued to flood my mind. I could remember how BAD I wanted to be a teacher and how excited I was to walk into my very own classroom for the first time. I was living my dream for the last 14 years.
As the last day approached, I found myself becoming more emotional. I didn’t want to say goodbye. I had thoughts of going back to my “old” life and telling everyone that I changed my mind. My old life seemed so easy compared to what I was planning to do. I was leaving a secure and stable job for the unknown.
I woke up on the last day and gave myself a little pep talk and decided that I would NOT cry. I planned to enjoy myself and my last day with my students.
I was doing great and felt happy all morning long until…the awards ceremony. UGH!!! At the end of the ceremony, my principal stood before a packed gymnasium with parents, staff, and students in attendance. At the end, she stood behind the podium and announced that I was leaving. She had trouble getting the words out. She stood for a moment trying to regain her composure. As I took a quick glance around the room, I noticed some of my favorite parents crying, former students were crying, and some of the staff were crying.
I COMPLETELY LOST IT.
I was done. I cried all day long. As the bell rang to dismiss the children, I cried walking to the buses. As I waved goodbye to the students, I cried. I was in mourning.
I walked back in and grabbed my belongings getting ready to walk out for the last time. Do you remember how my room looked at the beginning of the school year?
Well, this is what it looked like when I left…
Luckily, I had my very humorous and dramatic son with me. He staged the entire walking out like we were in a movie scene, music and all.
He started to play some Natalie Merchant song that he thought would capture the moment. We would walk a few steps (while the music was playing) and he make me turn around and look. He coached me on the facial expression that I was suppose to have. We laughed and laughed. I needed some fun!
The very next day, I had a huge teacher garage sale and sold EVERYTHING! I can’t go back, I don’t have anything, right?
Surprisingly, I feel great now. I feel like a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders. I am ecstatic about starting my new life and look forward to everything Schoolgirl Style can become! I am now living my NEW dream. Change is always hard, but sometimes it is necessary.
This quote says it all…
Teaching was a stepping stone to what I was really suppose to do with my life. Everything seems so clear to me and life makes sense. I feel happy and content.
Great things ahead!